Sunday, April 4, 2010


What a dull night, spending most of the time alone in the dark room accompanied by a small bright of light, facing my laptop and the time passes by..It was cold and sore night, no one is in the house. A peace and quiet moment as wanted. I stood up and walked to the kitchen making a cup of coffee to make me stay up for the night. Undesirable, unwanted WAR is coming up, preparing weaponary, collecting intelligence and knowledge, memorizing details of certainty. It's between me and you now. All i wanted was to end your life and make sure you'll never see my face again. I will deliberately pointed out my gun blowing you up in your head. I will laugh and satisfied watching yourself till the very last moment of death.

What an imagination do i have, comparing war on my disreputable, arrogant bastad boss demanding me to finish the 2 years work on a single day. Having my own imaginary friends couldn't help me with my will to overcome the problems. I look myself like a small atom particle in a small amount of liquid, where it leaked from drinking can in the solitary, spacious and ample desert. What an enormous wide world to explore. A blink of an eye that could change the world peace to the most deadly town. Zombies taking over making a complete colonial domination having a throne on their own. Articulate imaginary keep buzzing in my head. What should i do? The world doesn't end yet but it will be. My heart keep saying otherwise. The heart beating weakly and the lungs working disorderly. Having two packs of ciggarettes a day. My breath became short and i can't hardly blew a balloon. I'm weak, weak enough to be beaten by a 6 year old kid. My life screwed when I lost my wife because of infection in her lungs. My daughter died from an accident with a drunk driver while she was playing with her doll just outside the yard. I cried but i didn't felt my tears warmingly flowing down through my cheeks. A sore cold and freezing snow crystalize my tears. And now I'm waiting for my death to come.

How sad..

How sad it is when I read this tearful blog from an anguish person as I say.

Well I hoped that life would never happen to me.